Accountability vs. Accusation
See if you can find the difference in these two sentences?
Where were you last night between 8:00 and 11:00 PM ?
Where were you last night between 8:00 and 11:00 PM?
What about these two?
Your Internet report says you had no activity the past 2 days. Want to explain that?
Your Internet report says you had no activity the past 2 days. Want to explain that?
No, you don’t need to read them again. It’s not a trick. The sentences are identical, but quite different—in motive. But you can’t read motive, can you?
The first sentence in both examples is asked out of accusation. Here’s the scenario…
I have some information or cause for concern. I suspect you may be guilty of something. I suspect you could lie to me. I ask, therefore, assuming guilt, while looking for the truth. I’m accusing you, until you prove otherwise.
Accusation can create defensiveness, anger, hiding, guilt, condemnation, more lies, and so on.
The second sentence in both examples is asked out of accountability. Here’s the scenario…
We have agreed on a transparent relationship with a desire to be open and get healthy. So, I ask the question after being invited, after getting permission. I ask out of a heart of protection. While you can lie, the relationship is built around truth and honor. I’m assuming you want to do the right thing. And even when a failure occurs, we get it out, get it right, ask forgiveness, and move on.
Accountability comes in the front door. Accusation comes in the back door.
Accountability comes from health. Accusation comes from dysfunction.
Accountability is pro-active. Accusation is retroactive.
Accountability moves us forward. Accusation sets us back.
The enemy still tells us accountability is a repression of our freedom. Yet, all the way back to the Garden, we see that is a lie. Accountability sets us free to accelerate growth in God’s grace.
Admit your faults to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous man has great power and wonderful results. —James 5:16 TLB
The righteous man’s prayer is powerful, because on an on-going basis, he admits his faults, is teachable, and allows healing.
1 comment
Frankie Rainey April 10, 2014
AMEN!