Avoiding Believer’s Remorse

Buyer’s remorse happens when we make the decision to purchase something, then soon regret it. Typically, the issue is the decision was made solely on emotion, not reality. We bought something based on a feeling we had or a feeling we wanted, but the new feeling of realizing what the decision cost, or will cost, quickly overrides everything. The thing you desperately wanted quickly becomes your biggest problem.

But what about “believer’s remorse”? It’s a flipped version of buyer’s remorse.

You have a very difficult decision to make. One that will not just impact your life, but other’s as well. You pray. You get someone’s opinion. You pray some more. You read the Word for help and guidance. Then finally, you believe you have received the confirmation you need. You believe you have heard from God. The decision is made. You take the action. The deed is done.

But then, before too long, you start to feel some emotions that cause you to second-guess your actions. The emotions start to get stronger and you begin to question. Then the doubts come. Then regret. The enemy comes in with his famous line from the pilot episode: “Did God really say …?” Until finally, you are so overwhelmed by emotion that you do all you can to reverse the decision you were convinced just a short time ago was God’s will.

The interesting thing about this scenario is God doesn’t change His mind; we do. God’s decisions aren’t based on or changed by emotion, but ours can be. But then the real confusion comes—did I hear from God originally or did I not? Where’s the truth?

Bottom line: Emotions are always a poor source for any decision—making one or reversing one. They are simply a chemical product generated by our minds and souls—symptoms of our current state. They aren’t bad, but they can create bad outcomes. That is why we can laugh at something and a half hour later be crying from something else. Happy one minute; Angry the next. Our current state is constantly changing, as our emotions.

There is a far greater likelihood we will regret the emotional knee-jerk of trying to undo a decision than the original decision itself, provided we will allow time to work through the emotions and stick to our guns.

How can you avoid being ruled by your emotions instead of God’s will or letting your emotions overrule God’s will?

1—Get godly counsel for any major decision. If two or three trusted people come to agreement with you, then when the emotions come (that those people will not have), they can then remind you of the truth.

2—Make a covenant with God and yourself. Between making the decision and pulling the trigger, write down in concise sentences what you sense God is saying and why you sense God is saying it. Then sign, date it, and put it in your Bible. When the emotions start gripping you, get the covenant out and read it aloud. Remind yourself (and the enemy) what and why you made the decision.

3—Pray and ask God to give you His mind and heart. Submit to Him to rule over your emotions. If, after several days of praying, you still feel unsettled, go back to your covenant and your counsel for help.

But by no means, ever act on reversing your decision without this process. Emotions cannot be trusted like an intentional process of accountability.

“The farmer plants the Word. Some people are like the seed that falls on the hardened soil of the road. No sooner do they hear the Word than Satan snatches away what has been planted in them. “And some are like the seed that lands in the gravel. When they first hear the Word, they respond with great enthusiasm. But there is such shallow soil of character that when the emotions wear off and some difficulty arrives, there is nothing to show for it. —Mark 4:15-17 MSG



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